SRU: FINALE!

 Sadly, I have no clue when I first posted this story. I know it was before 2004, since it stars Joseph it is probably before 2002 as that is when I started going by Alexis (actually to be exact, December 21, 2001) and therefore changed Joseph to Alexis as that character is based on me (not Joseph/Juie but Joseph Lasek)!

SRU: FINALE

By Alexis Lasek

Edited by Steve Zink

I hope you all enjoy this, my final SRU tale for a very long time. It picks up after I left the net.

Eddie sat at his computer screen smiling. He had just TGed a lot of former co-authors. He always wondered what happened to Joseph Lasek. Last he heard was that Joseph reverted back to male form a year after leaving the net for good. Unknown to him was that Joseph would soon be returning, this time to stir things up once and for all. After all, this was the end of the war between him and Eddie - once and for all.

The old man was sitting in his shop when he felt the power. Joseph was near. He immediately made his shop vanish. He needed to find Eddie, and quick.

A year later...

The Wizard smiled as the two buxom blondes who were once football players left his shop. He then frowned; somehow, he was able to mask himself from the Wiz, because there he was - Joseph stood in the doorway. "Hello, OLD MAN. It ends here, once and for all."

With that, a pink power shot through Joseph's hands and covered the Wiz. He gulped. In seconds, a blonde bombshell was behind the counter. "ONE DOWN!" Joseph shouted, as he vanished to find Eddie. Joseph was on a rampage, after all, it was the Wizard and Eddie who took his Pond Universe and manhood away from him.

Joseph appeared in Orlando's DISNEY WORLD, where a vacationing Eddie looked up in horror. "This is it! The finale!" Joseph said.

"You got that right," Eddie said, smiling as he took out the latest model of his bimboizer.

It Was Going To End Soon.

Eddie fired. He hit many bystanders, which turned kids, parents, teens, seniors, single adults and even Disney cast members in costumes and uniforms into buxom blonde bombshells. Joseph got sick of dodging the blasts, so he put up a shield to protect himself from them. Then Eddie noticed something, and realized that there was going to be big trouble, especially when a pink light glowed from Joseph's hands. He was using too much energy, Eddie realized, as the Earth began to tear itself apart.

Everyone...Jackie, Alexis, Stephanie, and others watched as the Earth began to die. Volcanoes erupted everywhere, killing everything in the downwash of ash and lava. Joseph realized what was happening, but it was too late. He did it. He ended his conflict with Eddie. It was all over. "Sorry WORL-" was all he could say as the EARTH blew up.

Back at Spells R Us...

The Wizard looked at Bill Hart. "What a climactic end, eh?"

"Yeah," Bill agreed. Just then, two men entered the shop.

"Hello, Eddie. Joseph, why did you do it?"

"Do what?" He paused. "Oh, yeah, that. I feel it's time to move on. I always said my world of SRU was an alternate one, so I killed it. After all, I'm finished writing SRU - for now." He looked at Eddie. "Besides, I'm sick of writing that stuff about hating Eddie. I mean, we are friends. We wrote 'Love Hurts' together."

"Speaking of which - any sequels planned?"

"Gotta go," Joseph said, not answering Bill's question.

"Joseph?"

"Yes, Wiz?"

"Are you really through with SRU?"

Joseph paused and smiled. "Yeah. At least, for now. It's time to move on and write non-SRU tales." With that, he vanished.

Eddie left right after that. Suddenly, Eddie's chest exploded into a set of double Z's. Eddie screamed.

The Wizard smiled. "Joseph's still got it." He also knew that Joseph would be back, awfully soon.

SRU: Joseph the rewrite

Before we get to this week's "Classic Tale" I have an announcement. I have just finished the school version of my first TG story in a decade. I plan to add to it (as I had to keep it 1000ish words) to make it flow better and become my vision that I saw. Also I want to wait a few weeks before releasing it as it is school work. For these two reasons I will be releasing this story the last Thursday of this month. So mark your calenders, I will be ending the weekly posts with an original story. After that, I will post them whenever I have new ones ready! I am thinking of posting non TG stories or works that I am doing for my college course (creative writing) to keep the weekly updates going (as sadly most of my old works are lost as I was homeless in 2001-2006, so many stories were lost) but not sure if you would be interested.
 On to the story:
This was the rewrite I did for SRU: Joseph in the 90's!

SRU:Joseph(the rewrite)

It was raining cats and dogs literally outside the mall. The old man in charge of Spells R Us was shaking his head. "I guess Jake wished it would rain cats and dogs, and that dumb genie must have thought he meant it litterally." The old man walked into the back of the store and started to get ready for Halloween. You see HALLOWEEN was only a few weeks away & it was his busiest time of the year.

On the other side of the mall, Joseph Laser was walking from store to store. He was just trying to cheer himself up. He was so depressed over the death of his mother only a few months back, that he just didn't know what to do anymore. He had scared away most of his friends and now was basically alone. Dave, his only freind left had said recently that the depression had begun to eat Joseph away and if he didn't get help soon, then he would likely die from the pain. The scary part of this was the fact that Joseph was very close to commiting suicide. He just didn't know what he could do anymore. He just wished he was like his sister. She was dealing with this a lot better than he was. She was depressed but somehow she was able to keep going. Joseph looked at a store in a hole in the wall area of the mall. He read the sign "SPELLS R US".

"Spells R Us?" he thought. "Oh well it couldn't do any harm to look." He entered the store and heard the tiny door charm ring. The stopre had all kinds of lamps,rings,costumes, & other odd items. The smell was of old ancient books and there were a few spider webs in the corner of the store. Joseph started to think tthe store was abandoned until a old man wearing what looked like a bath robe walked out from the back room.

"Hello Joseph, I was sorry to hear about the death of your mother a while back. But you really need to let your friends help you. You see friends are the most important thing you need in a time like this." The old man kept looking at Joseph. "And do you really think suicide is the best answer?" Joseph was shocked by how the old man knew all about him. "How did you know my name and what makes you think I am thinking about suicide?"

"Well you see my friend, I am a wizard. I know many things. For instance, your sister is taking this better than you are and you wish you were more like her. Anyway if you truly want to be like your sister then I can arrange that. All you have to do is take this pill." The old man said as he took out a pill. "Take this pill tonight and in the morning you will be just like your sister. " Joseph looked at him oddly. "Oh don't worry its not poison and before you ask it is free." Joseph took the pill from the old man. "Good bye Joseph and please come again."

"Whatever." Joseph said as he left the store. He thought the old man was nuts, but then he thought if the pill killed him it wouldn't matter he decided he would commit suicide anyways. "I guess i'll try this pill out tonight."

After dinner Joseph went straight to his bed room and swallowed the pill. Suddenly he felt very sleepy and fell to the bed. Hours later Joseph awok as the sun beamed onto his face. He brushed the long red hair out of his face. "Wait a minute long red hair? Since when did I have long hair. Even better since when have I had red hair?" Joseph thought to himself. He got up and went straight to the mirror. Long eyelshes, a average set of breasts,long red hair. He even was now 5'3 instead of being his old 6'. She couldn't believe it. Joseph realized why his sister deal with it, because it felt like his mother was in her. Thats when Joseph realized she had always been a part of him, it just took this transformation to bring it out. With that she got up & went straight to the bathroom.

A few hours later at the mall. The old man heard aring from his door charm and went out to greet the person. There at the doorway stood a red head wearing a pink dress, and 3 inch heels. "Hello Jospeh. Are you upset with me?"

"No. Actually I realized that my mom was always with me. Just my hatred of my old body and the depression of her death hid that." She started to walk out and then turned around. "By the way it's Julie now." With that she left. The old man smiled and went back to getting ready for his big day.

ENDGAME (SRU)

 This was the conclusion of my original SRU series! This was to conclude lot threads and be a prequel to Love Hurts. Like many of my classics, I do not love it.

SRU: ENDGAME

A old woman was lying on her deathbed. She reached for a tape recorder & turned it on. COUGH COUGH. "As I said in my other recordings my name is Julie Laser, but I have not always been known as Julie. A long long time ago I was known as Joseph Laser. I didn't take my mothers death that well. I was in a terrible depression I basically thought about suicide. for some reason I went to the oddest shop in the store....."SPELLS R US" There I met a old man who was wearing what looked like a bathrobe. There my life changed forever. The old man gave me a pill & told me it would change my life forever. I took the pill & became the woman I am today." Julie took a deep breathe & continued. "I also discovered thanks to the old man that the most popular slut in school was akid who just wanted to much...Jake. From what I understand. He wished for a lot, his final wish was to understand women & before he knew what hit him he was Janet. I do have to admit he got what he deserved. See he wasn't the nice guy every one thought he was. Sure people made fun of him, but that was until he abused that power. You see his second wish was to be handsome & all the women like him. He became a bully for that day. Knowing this would get worse the genie twisted his words. So when Jake wished he understood women....POOF. He got what he deserved.

"Another story would have to be Dave. He was so lonely after I became the popular cheerleader, that he actually dressed up like a woman to spend time with me. The costume he put on was from Spells R Us. Lets just say Dana was a popular cheerleader ju8st like me." Julie, knowing things were getting worse & knowing she had very little time left, went on.

"Our lives were perfect. Dana became a model & eventually married, I became a actress & also married. But nothing can last forever 10 years ago I discovered that Dana died from old age, just like I am. You see I am now 95 years old. Janet died from a jealous boyfriend who shot her & her other boyfriend in rage." Julie realizing she forgot something decided to continue, but couldn't....she dropped the microphone & passed away.

In the shadows you could see a old man with tears in his eyes. With him were 2 others. "So this is what will happen to my creations in the end huh?" one of the men said.

"Yes my boy. I gave you the power to make your characters come alive, but like real people they to must die." The wizard said.

"I guess your right, but it still is sad."

"It is Joseph, but remember this takes place so many years from the timeline you created them from, which means you can still write more stories featuring them."

"I guess your right Wizard."Joseph Lasek said.

"Ready to go Joseph?"

"I guess so Wizard."

"OK then next stop...the real world."

"Hold on." Eddie Glover said. "We went to his creative universe, lets check out some of my handy work."

"I got a better idea, lets check out the damage we both did."Joseph said with a smile.

"OK then, next stop....Hercules & Xena's universe!" with that they all vanished.