SRU: FINALE
By Alexis Lasek
Edited by Steve Zink
I hope you all enjoy this, my final SRU tale for a very long
time. It picks up after I left the net.
Eddie sat at his computer screen smiling. He had just TGed a
lot of former co-authors. He always wondered what happened to Joseph Lasek.
Last he heard was that Joseph reverted back to male form a year after leaving
the net for good. Unknown to him was that Joseph would soon be returning, this
time to stir things up once and for all. After all, this was the end of the war
between him and Eddie - once and for all.
The old man was sitting in his shop when he felt the power.
Joseph was near. He immediately made his shop vanish. He needed to find Eddie,
and quick.
A year later...
The Wizard smiled as the two buxom blondes who were once
football players left his shop. He then frowned; somehow, he was able to mask
himself from the Wiz, because there he was - Joseph stood in the doorway.
"Hello, OLD MAN. It ends here, once and for all."
With that, a pink power shot through Joseph's hands and
covered the Wiz. He gulped. In seconds, a blonde bombshell was behind the
counter. "ONE DOWN!" Joseph shouted, as he vanished to find Eddie.
Joseph was on a rampage, after all, it was the Wizard and Eddie who took his Pond
Universe and manhood away from him.
Joseph appeared in Orlando's DISNEY WORLD, where a
vacationing Eddie looked up in horror. "This is it! The finale!"
Joseph said.
"You got that right," Eddie said, smiling as he
took out the latest model of his bimboizer.
It Was Going To End Soon.
Eddie fired. He hit many bystanders, which turned kids,
parents, teens, seniors, single adults and even Disney cast members in costumes
and uniforms into buxom blonde bombshells. Joseph got sick of dodging the
blasts, so he put up a shield to protect himself from them. Then Eddie noticed
something, and realized that there was going to be big trouble, especially when
a pink light glowed from Joseph's hands. He was using too much energy, Eddie
realized, as the Earth began to tear itself apart.
Everyone...Jackie, Alexis, Stephanie, and others watched as
the Earth began to die. Volcanoes erupted everywhere, killing everything in the
downwash of ash and lava. Joseph realized what was happening, but it was too
late. He did it. He ended his conflict with Eddie. It was all over. "Sorry
WORL-" was all he could say as the EARTH blew up.
Back at Spells R Us...
The Wizard looked at Bill Hart. "What a climactic end,
eh?"
"Yeah," Bill agreed. Just then, two men entered
the shop.
"Hello, Eddie. Joseph, why did you do it?"
"Do what?" He paused. "Oh, yeah, that. I feel
it's time to move on. I always said my world of SRU was an alternate one, so I
killed it. After all, I'm finished writing SRU - for now." He looked at
Eddie. "Besides, I'm sick of writing that stuff about hating Eddie. I
mean, we are friends. We wrote 'Love Hurts' together."
"Speaking of which - any sequels planned?"
"Gotta go," Joseph said, not answering Bill's
question.
"Joseph?"
"Yes, Wiz?"
"Are you really through with SRU?"
Joseph paused and smiled. "Yeah. At least, for now.
It's time to move on and write non-SRU tales." With that, he vanished.
Eddie left right after that. Suddenly, Eddie's chest
exploded into a set of double Z's. Eddie screamed.
The Wizard smiled. "Joseph's still got it." He
also knew that Joseph would be back, awfully soon.
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